Please ladies don't try and change your man. I say this because it is an effort in futility. I have hinted previously at this statement in earlier blogs but now I am going to come right out with it. A man's sexual preference is there for life, what gets him off at an early age becomes the blue print for the remainder of his life. I heard an argument on "The Show" which is a Calgary radio station which put this so concisely.
"Why are we hellbent on making the mistake of thinking these people can be rehabilitated? Wanamaker won’t change. He’ll continue to offend. Don’t ever let him out of jail. He has a sexual predilection for kids. Just like I have a predilection towards ladies and their lady parts.
Picture a world where heterosexuality is outlawed and I go to jail for the crime of being straight. After a ten year sentence and various rehabilitation programs I face the parole board of particularly fashionable gentlemen and athletic women and swear to them that I’m no threat at all to the vagine of the world. They let me go…
Guess what I’m gonna do first… get hip deep in trouble.
Because sex is sex and we all want it in one form or another. Wanamaker just happens to want it with little kids. Curing that is impossible."
So if it is in a man's nature then why do so many women waste their time and effort trying to change a man. We need to find a livable way to accept their makeup and urges. But more than that, we need to open up communication to discuss the sometimes hurt and pain that this causes a relationship. I am very accepting of most things but at times there is pain or emotions and the isolation in accepting the man for being a man can be overwhelming.
There was a quote on Weeds, that basically said, "It's not that he doesn't love you, it's just that men love variety". But that doesn't always make it easy or OK. What it does mean though is that if you try and change that out of a man you are weakening him and taking the masculinity out of him. Men like what they like, and that's all there is to it.
We are so lucky, as women, that we can change and adapt to our sexual desires and we change our perception and wants with age and societal influences. Men do not have this luxury, they are what they are. So as hard as it can be not pressure them to fit into the cookie cutter mold of what your mother expects lets be brave and let them be. Maybe we will be happier in long run. Get through the pain and heartache together but be stronger for the amazing men in our lives.