Tuesday, 1 November 2011

How Can I Say I’m in Love?

I was presented with a bit of a challenge while I was discussing my blog with a friend recently.  He asked me if I was in love, and I said yes.  He gave me a really skeptical look at my response and said that if I was in love then my partner would be the only man I would want and vice versa.  Further he went on to say that we live in a society in which we pay taxes and follow the natural order.  There are rules and guidelines that we must abide by in order to live in this society.  I am paraphrasing a bit here as there was a large quantity of booze during this interlude.  Suffice to say though; I completely understand where he is coming from.  I have family who have stated quite clearly that I must be missing out by choosing a man who doesn’t put me on a pedal stool.  That I am somehow settling by being with someone who may stray from time to time.
This is a very hard viewpoint to argue against, so I will only make a few little points or examples that are not to be taken as persuasive.  But more or less illustrate that I am living my life with eyes wide open and there are many benefits to my level of thinking.  I have previously provided the dictionary definition of love, but for kicks here is the urban dictionary definition.  Which of course the first one make me giggle.  I read through about 5, and the answers submitted are so varied it can really makes me wonder why that is.  As a society we cannot cohesively agree on what love is.  Yet we can very quickly judge someone else and tell them that they are not in fact in a loving relationship because they are missing x,y, and/or z.  This sort of hypocrisy is fully accepted in our society, as a judgmental being that has the rights to tell us who and how to love.
That being said, I still talk about myself being in love.  My point of reference for this is that I am truly happy and generally in a great mood and my life is moving in a positive way.  Also when I say I love you to my partner it feels great and hearing it does the same, very simple and honest.  I try very hard to take preconceived notions out of my life and that includes others definitions of love.  I live to make myself happy and when someone is making themselves happy alongside me, there is an opportunity for an amazing journey.
The next little point is one that I have blogged specifically, a man's nature, which in discussion with quite a few of the male variety they agree with.  Well I should clarify, they admit to agreement on the preface that they are not married.  If married then the rules change, to complete and utter monogamy… But prior then yes men have a tendency to stray.  When they cheat in marriage it’s a “one time” thing and will never ever happen again… until the next time.  Ok so I am being a little sarcastic in my tone, not out of anger, but more or less I get frustrated with the lack of honesty.  But this brings me to my conclusion which is living in a relationship where my partner knows who he is.  This does not mean that he loves me any less than any man out there, or any more.  Just that I won’t make him come crawling home begging for forgiveness and promising that it will never happen again.  I won’t emasculate him for being himself.  For me the true test of a relationship is honesty, and this includes being honest with yourself first and foremost.

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