I blogged a wee bit about flirting for the newly out of a relationship, here. For a relationship to have happiness in the long term things are a little different. One aspect that I constantly see left behind is the seduction. Seduction is not just for landing yourself a mate. Seduction can be the glue that keeps your relationship exciting for the long haul. If the basics for the relationship are there, then putting in the effort to keep things exciting should be an exciting venture.
It’s a myth that seduction always has to be about lighting candles, chocolate and sex. Actually in my experience the instability of a few lows mixed in with the highs works extremely well. There are times that the emotional bonds forged, when tears are shed really goes so much deeper than just constantly being sexy. Humans have a wide range of emotions, so with a bit of skill you can take your partner on an emotional roller coaster. There is a part of me that hesitates to write that last statement so I will do a little clarification. I am writing this blog on the basis that you have a firm foundation and have been together for quite a while. In the first 6 months or so, using any of these techniques may allow for the crazy or unstable persona, and these things can occur quite naturally.
You know your partner, and you have built up the trust enough to know how far you may push him/her. So now is time for the fun part of being in a long term relationship. Here are a few not so secrets that have worked in my relationships. And hopefully you recognize that subconsciously you have been doing this all along, but now you can bring it to a conscious level with a bit more control and technique.
Firstly it’s really important that you break up your routines every once and a while. Nothing spells stagnant or unsexy like the same old thing night after night, even if you both really enjoy routine. If you have schedules that you must keep week in and out, find time to break the pattern every so often. If you both love movie night, switch it up by getting dressed up and seeing a live play or performance or any variance on the day in day out. Have your coffee in bed rather than at the kitchen table, just be creative. This occurred naturally when you first met and had to mesh each others schedules and fit time for the other. So re-enact that from time to time.
The next thing is to have a dynamic relationship. Being happy and having fun day in and day out can get boring. A little drama can go a long way, and make up sex is beyond exciting. Have you ever tried stirring the pot just a little bit, but for a positive result? Something really simple to get you started, have a little water fight, or tickle each other. There is no malice intent, just creating a dynamic playing field where you are able to cycle through a range of emotions together. Just writing this I am able to clearly see all these events that naturally took place in the “honeymoon” phase of my relationships. And it takes skill and knowledge to re create these events for the future and keep that new love feeling going strong. How funny that these things don’t seem like you are seducing at all hence why seduction is so much more than physical.
Be thoughtful and spontaneous. Leave a note on his pillow, or when you grocery shop pick up their favourite treat. Just anything little that elicits an unconscious smile. Don’t forget body contact. Think back on the days when you first met and couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. Give a scalp massage while watching your favourite show, or a quick spank when cooking dinner. All these things you have done in the past, but with life moving forward so quickly these actions become rare.
Put some thought into your favourite memories of the time spent together in the first few weeks, and draw from those experiences your inspiration for a conscious seduction. Its amazing how intuitive these actions can be when the hormones are flowing and there is the element of new. For a long term success you will be able to keep things on this dynamic plane and keep the new alive. These are just a few of the techniques that have worked for me. Try a few, and please feel free as always to offer some suggestions :)