I have never dated an 18 year old, or anyone younger for that matter. Even when I was a teenager myself dating was just not something that I had any interest in. The guys my age were confusing and even when I entered university at 17 (three weeks before turning 18) the guys had little to offer me. I went on a date here and there but nothing ever went beyond that first date or that horrible awkward first kiss goodnight. I cannot say for sure if it was low self esteem or just that I had so many other things going on and the juvenile nature of the boys surrounding me just left me with the feeling of disinterest. So why bring this up?
Last night I went out to a pub with about 15 guys between the ages of 18 and 23. I have surrounded myself with people who are older than me pretty much my entire life. Even when I was a small child I preferred hanging around the adults rather than playing with the kids my own age. Thus I was a little out of my comfort zone. As well it was the first time that many of these guys have met me so it was a double edged sword. So I did what I usually do in new situations, I just sat back and watched all the dynamics around me. And of course I made some mental notes so I could share what I learnt.
The first thing is the handshakes. There were the handshakes from the guys who knew I was in a relationship and gave me a firm handshake like meeting any new buddy would. These were from guys who have enough going in there favour and just are out to have fun. Then came the shy barely would touch my hand – shake. Now this is where I really got interested. The guy in particular who gave me this sort of handshake, I instantly misjudged. And yes I would have misjudged him sorely as a teenage too. My first reaction was that this guy was completely dismissing me and wouldn’t even give me the time of day for a proper handshake. On closer analysis though, it turns out that he was the most eager to meet women and gladly wanted my bf and my help in this regard. This 18 year old just has not game whatsoever.
I have not spent much time around guys without the slightest clue in regards to women in quite a few years. And this really got me thinking about something I wrote about previously http://k-ghislaine.blogspot.com/2011/10/dating-how-to.html. We are not taught to date, just that we should. I guess if I had dated as a teenage I may have gone through the growing pains at the same time as the guys around me, fumbling through what my peers said versus what I thought I knew. Stumbling awkwardly through the maze of hormones and dealing with opposite sex symbols and signs. So I am thusly lost when it comes to these young ones, and that is not say I’m old but rather that I missed an integral learning point in my dating career. So how now do I help guide these young guys and give them advice that is appropriate for the sexual attention they desire? I have no idea, but hopefully I will figure something out by the time I go out with them again and the pressure is on. So stayed tuned for my next installment of what I have learned from the 18 year olds.