I wrote a blog in anger, and as a result I will not link to although it did receive more comments than any other I have written. Thus I have not been able to write for the past few days. However in working through how I was going to resolve or let go of an issue that has burdened me for years I started working towards a revelation of such. I had no idea how much my view point changed when it came to open relationships and how it actually has altered the way I deal with my family. I remember receiving harsh criticism for not having my biological dad in my life as an active member and how hard it was for many in my life to accept. However this was a choice that was made out of years of issues and pain. I broke the mould in my household by taking a stance and choosing what was right for me at the time and not the expectation.
I have been raised to believe through and through that you must accept your family for what they are. To take in stride their faults and strengths which I have gone into great detail previously here. However why does this have to be the case. If someone whom you share blood with treats you poorly and causes you undue stress and pain, why is the expectation to constantly forgive and forget? If it was a chosen relationship the advice that you would receive would be to cut that person out of your life, but when it comes to family we are given different advice. So does that then mean that family has free reign to treat it’s members in any fashion that they see fit? How can that possibly be fair, or healthy for that matter? I have spent the past week trying to analyse the bigger picture surrounding challenging societal norms and living to find my own happiness. Unfortunately there is a price to pay for such things. And I publicly announce that I am finished fighting for what I deserve when it comes to my family. After 28 years it turns out that I will be treated the same no matter what choices or responses I try to cleverly come up with. I need to start focusing on the bigger picture and see how this affects my personal life and happiness and make choices towards that and not my own ego or sense of purpose.
How we relate to our family plays a critical role in how we behave and relate in our chosen relationships. I know I have said time and time again that I will do things this way or that way when I have kids. And I don`t know anyone out there who has not said similar things as we constantly evolve and change our ideas. Knowledge is fluid and with that we are able to adapt to our surroundings in such an amazing way. The ability to learn and grow, while questioning all that surrounds up are words I repeat again and again. But there is an added point to that, it`s wonderful to grow and learn, but you also have to admit when you are wrong. It takes a very confident and strong person to admit when they are wrong and put their stubbornness aside for the bigger picture. So here I start the new year wondering if this will be a year filled with support or continued resistance to me voicing my opinions?