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Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Can Unconditional Love exist in a Relationship?

I have discussed the unforgivable sin, http://k-ghislaine.blogspot.com/2012/01/deadliest-relationship-sin.html, the poison that is cheating or doing something outside of relationship rules that you and your partner have created.  Thus that leads me to my question about what love is actually defined as in your relationship.  I would argue that we are not willing to love our partners unconditionally.  There is far too much risk involved in the area of heartbreak and emotional anguish for that.  Thus we love based on conditions.  These conditions are put in place for our protection.  The norm for our society is that once we get married we are to start having children. 

Without any practice in having unconditional love for our partners, accepting that they are fallible creatures we then bestow upon our children a pre-supposed unconditional love.  So then what do we say to the child when they ask do you love mommy or daddy the way you love me?  The answer seems to be no, especially with such a high divorce rate.  Does that not seem strange to anyone else?  Here we have merged our genetics with a partner whom we do not love for better or for worse, but the spawn of that love will be enriched with the unbreakable love from both mother and father.

I personally wonder if perhaps we are going about relationships in a bizarre way.  Is there the possibility of actually saying and meaning I do, for better and for worse? This is the one situation where I would look to my catholic friends who are married and live this lifestyle with the aid of shared love and devotions for God.  They have made a covenant not only to each other, but to a higher power which they entrust to protect the most vulnerable emotion, love.  Is there a way for the non God fearing soul to reach the same level of open and forthcoming love?  I do not believe in a higher power, but there would be a greater temptation to find the merit in one if such belief could yield this mystical relationship with another human being.   To me this would be the un achievable goal that I would take the leap towards achieving with my partner.

To put another way, do any of you have an ex out there that is some small way you will always love?  In the English language love encompasses every type of more than friendship feeling.  The Greek had 4 different forms of love, Storge – affection between members of a  family, Philia – friendship, Eros – romantic love, and Agape – love towards God or a person’s neighbour.  Here is a language that depicts much clearer the definition of love, and yet none of these terms quite describes that unconditional relationship that I think many of us would ironically kill to obtain.  So then I ask, what are you looking to achieve from your partnership if unconditional love is off the table and unachievable?  Or do you go into a relationship and strive towards one day finding this peaceful existence in each other?  Perhaps this is the next step in our sexual evolution, finding an unconditional loving partner with whom we can achieve anything and everything with full support.


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