Monday, 9 April 2012

Temptations in the Married or Already Committed Man

I am prefacing this blog topic with a little disclaimer, and that is to say, this has been a topic I have wanted to write about for quite some time.  However I must be truthful in that a few recent events have given me a significantly clearer perspective on how was I going to go about sharing some things that I have learned on the subject in question. 

Married men are a real temptation for a lot of us in the female variety.   And from the few men whom have opened up to me on the subject, this can be a two way street.  These already committed men represent a desire for stability and security in that they have already attained and committed which is what many single girls actually desire.  They have the ability to fall in love, to get married, to start a family which is a huge turn-on for many of us.  As well there is a level of misguided security that states we can be who we are without fear of judgement because this guy is safe.  When we allow ourselves to be this honest and open, we actually in most cases become more attractive to the married man.  Why is that?  Because here is a woman who can be honest, impulsive, and real.  The woman to whom they are married too may no longer be able or willing to do that. 

On the flip side, the man may be attracted to the challenge.  The thrill of the hunt and exploring that forbidden fruit that he knows he should not taste.  Some other man has determined that this woman is desirable enough to marry and therefore should not be overlooked.  There is a competitive strategy to going after an already desirable woman, which we see in the primate community on a regular basis.  A baser instinct that drives a sexual passion in the males, and to a lesser known or admitted extent, the female.

Here is my insight into this though, the trial and error that I myself have witnessed and learned first- hand or avoided learning which may be a more accurate statement.  I recognize in myself the extreme competitive nature that drives me towards many things in life.  I want to be recognized for being intelligent, attractive, fit and most of all, a genuinely good and sound person.  With that being said, sometimes the temptation exists to see if I can actually get that man who is for all intents and purposes unattainable.  Now I in no way am stating that I have acted on these feelings, but I do recognize that they exist and part of me understands that is why having an open relationship made so much sense to me.  The thrill of the seduction is so amazing, that it would take an incredible guy to allow me to seduce and chase him over and over again to obtain the same or similar rush.

Many men I know, who are confident, good looking or charismatic will say that when they pursue a female that the ring just doesn’t matter on the woman.  The odd thing about that is, if I don’t want to be hit on, I will wear a ring to show men that I am unavailable.  So the colliding impact of the two behaviors can definitely lead to some trouble down the road.  I rationally know that temptation exists and the added level of attraction towards a man who has proven he is willing to commit.  Hence why, I know myself well enough to avoid any and all temptation in this realm.  At the very least though I will always have my fantasies.

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