Monday, 23 July 2012

First Impressions, Something I Really Suck At


I have heard it before and it seems that I will hear it again, I absolutely am terrible at first impressions.  I suppose it is a defense mechanism that serves to protect me from getting hurt, and ward off evil villains and the like.  But in all seriousness I just am not one to be my open and bubbly self when I meet a stranger for the first time.  Odd that I worked retail for such a significant portion of my working career which is based on first impressions, especially when dealing with children, and having to feign much cheerfulness.  Perhaps this increased my dismissive qualities or decreased them, it is hard for me to introduce myself to me and pinpoint exactly what I do wrong.

But one thing I have consistently found is that I come off as cold, or shy.  I see all the people who know me nodding their heads in agreement, and I wish I had some magic button with which to undo these first impressions, but sigh I just do not.  Maybe this is the reason why I do not put any stock in love at first sight, if it existed I would be in for a life of loneliness for sure.  I know that I do not put any effort into fixing this problem that I have found in myself, rather I put my focus onto what happens after the first meetings.  That is the part where I am able to shine, and sparkle.  I love the flirting and the dance of emotions that includes the amazing butterfly feelings that happen as you get to know someone special. 

There is also the peculiar possibility that I insist on making challenges for myself.  It would seem to easy to just fall for somebody out of the blue, instead there is a type of seduction that includes building in a chase factor.  If you make it too easy to fall for someone then the likelihood that it will last is very low.  Whereas if someone has to work to gain attention or a place in someone`s mind the odds increase in favour of a longer courtship.  I for one, love a good puzzle or a to be challenged.  I wholeheartedly subscribe to the idea that things in life worth getting involve a great deal of work.  And I was raised to work hard for what I have.  Thus I daily challenge the ideal of first impressions being the most important thing, instead for me, it is what comes afterwards that matters.

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