Thursday, 26 July 2012

Sucking at First Impressions: The Lighter Side


On Monday I wrote about some troubles I seem to have with first impressions, so I decided to follow up with that rather negative sounding post by sharing a few moments that might make you smile or simply shake your head.  My most recent first date story really got me thinking about how often I seem to do the wrong thing prior to meeting a guy for the first or second time.  Here I was driving to meet a guy for a walk and decide to take a big gulp from my water bottle.  Turns out I had forgotten to screw the lid on and of course spilt about a cups worth of water onto my crotch while wearing light coloured jeans.  Nothing quite says sexy like showing up to a date while looking like you just peed your pants let me tell you.  My buddy Mike, smarty pants that he is, told me I should just “say the thought of him got me wet”, nice advice for a first meeting.

Next on the list of shakes my head at myself moments was me getting lost looking for a coffee shop downtown.  Now I’m not sure how many of you have been in a car with me when I get lost, but I get really frustrated and try to pretend I am less navigationally challenged than I am.  This lead to me getting more lost and confused, while in the process making me over 30 minutes late.  At this point I realize I am starving which is why I am getting so cranky and furious so I pull over to the side of the road, call up the guy and say that I am going for food and he can join me if he wants.  And that I am so sorry for being late, trying to explain the whole thing to a virtual stranger.  Well as luck would have it, the restaurant that I had picked is actually closed when I arrive and with my tail between my legs I have no choice but to call the guy up and change the venue yet again.  By the time I meet the guy at the restaurant it is an hour and 30 minutes later.  I have no idea why, but the guy actually bought me dinner and was one of the sweetest guys I could have ever shown crazy me side to.  Sigh…

It is not just first dates either, oh no.  When I was applying at a really important job a few years ago I was completely caught off guard when my bra strap fell off of my arm and down to my elbow while wearing a white fairly see through blouse.  I was told that I seemed a little shy afterwards, but the truth was that I was being interviewed by a male who I would be mortified if he noticed that I was trying to slide the strap back up so that my boob did not pop out of my bra.  Oddly I did get the job and he swore he had no idea that this happened but did laugh when I told him years later. 

It is a two way street, as far as first meetings go.  My all time favorite has to be the guy who cancelled on meeting me a couple of hours beforehand saying that he had fallen out of a helicopter and was not feeling so good.  It was a unique way of letting me down, and nope he never called me again.  At least I have a funny story out of it.  And finally the one guy I let slip away for some odd reason, Guy – I have a sexy piercing do you want to see it.  Me – why is the piercing sexy? Guy – Because I have a barbell below the head of my cock. Me – shakes my head. Guy – sends me not one but two pictures of said piercing.  No, we did not ever meet, and yes ladies I still have the photo on my phone as a reminder that sometimes it is not necessary to even get to the point of a first and most likely awkward first meeting.

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