Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Ahhh Pickup Lines


When I was in junior high, one of the boys in the school said to me at a band concert, “why don’t you sit on my lap and see what pops up”.  I was mortified, but not because I had any clue what he meant by that statement, but rather the implication that it must be vulgar in some way.  My girlfriends and I never talked to each other in one line banter, so it was dismissed as disgusting and I proceeded to avoid this guy.  Which of course being in junior high my running away from him only made him chase me more, ah the clueless of youth.  Now to this day, I wish this clueless mentality had worn off, and yet men are still using pickup lines on me and I am still confused by them.

Last weekend, I had a guy approach me to ask where the washroom was, then proceed to try and chat me up in a number of different ways.  None of which worked including “you look like the type of girl who enjoys football” (no I was not wearing a jersey or anything of the sort).  Did I react with some witty banter, or tell him to get lost as years of “practice” should have taught me?  Oh no, I sat there just hoping the guy would get the hint with one word answers, and when that failed I pulled out my phone and completely ignored him until he went away.  I could not muster up the words to say flatly that I was not interested, or that he was creeping me out.  Oh no, I did the passive aggressive pretend he wasn’t there, my modern day version of just running away. 

Is this a direct result of woman being cultured to be far too polite for their own goods?  When I re-iterated this story to some male friends, they naturally asked why I did not just say screw off.  And of course that is what I should have done, but the guy was in no way rude or abrasive so I just could not bring myself to be outright rude to him.  But as with every pickup line, the guys have a motive behind them whether vulgar, or sweet.  They are opening you up to a conversation, and for some damn reason I still feel uncomfortable after all these years speaking my mind to a complete stranger who means absolutely nothing to me.

I guess my inability to react in a rational way to pickup lines is just one of the reasons that guys still try and use them.  And I am sorry to all my female friends out there, that I have done absolutely nothing to call out the douche, who uses them in a creepy way.  I will try in future if for nothing else than to prevent somebody else feeling that uncomfortable skin crawling feeling when some stranger uses an unwelcome one liner.

2 comments:

  1. Pick-up lines - they work well with some people, or not-so-well with others. Approaching this from another perspective, I don't imagine those mengs approaching you are doing it just for the sake of "creeping you out." (Unless they were doing it for the giggles, or that there happened to be a $50,000 contest that required contestants to creep as many men, women, and puppies as possible. Who'd make a contest like that anyways?)

    I imagine that they were people looking to explore their own sexuality, flaunting it the next opportunity they get, sometimes in ways that come off not-so-good. Unfortunately, sex still remaining the taboo subject these days (outside of innuendo jokes), it can be rather difficult to be able to find a healthy outlet for one's urges.

    And with enough frustration, anyone might try anything just to have the experience with someone, including outright force, putting on dorky sunglasses, and making silly advances like, "I'm sorry if I might be acting rude, but it's difficult for me to express myself when I'm on the verge of.. exploding in my pants."

    If only society provided more good ways for people to meet, without the anxiety and stigma.

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  2. Also, it's kind of you to be polite as you can in those sorts of situations. I might suggest though that you can be more direct, instead of acting passive-aggressive about it. You can tell them that you're not interested - it is a good way to go. "Get lost" can make it seem like you're playing hard to get.

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