Tuesday, 20 November 2012

Effort is An Opportunity Area


It really seems like the vast amount of men feel like getting laid should be a privilege with minimal work and effort required.  I am not saying this to whine and complain, more to point out that there is a huge opportunity for men to rise to the top.  The men that stand out in my mind are the men who made an effort to try and get to know me, to remember things about me, and in action do what I like.  It seems like a pretty basic and simple concept, but it is astounding just how often this is forgotten.  I see so many woman do back flips to try and please their men.  To dress the way they like, cook their favorite foods, and to fulfill every fantasy they have.  All the while keeping silent in the fact that there is rarely reciprocation.  It is no wonder that we have such a broad gender gap with men expecting this type of treatment and woman not speaking up nearly enough to have their needs met.

This is a two way street, and I think a little more effort from the male side of things would go such a long way.  Men in general are selfish, and this is coming from an only child so I know my kind pretty accurately.  And selfishness can be a good thing, it means you know how to ask and ensure that you get what you want.  If those needs are not being met, you love yourself enough to change the situation.  Giving selflessly is not an option, there is acknowledgement that in giving you know you will get more in the long run.  But this is a point that I think needs more reminding.  There are times when givers receive much more, than the takers.  It’s a balance game, and it is remarkably simple if you look more long term and less immediate gains, such as just getting laid that one time. 

There is a very popular dating site that I frequent, and I would say that a good 70 percent of new male users have something negative in their profile.  Something along the lines of just checking this out, do not have much hope that I will find something meaningful, and the always depressing “ok, this is my last shot on here”.  What this message portrays is that you will put no effort into finding a girl, and furthermore you are questioning what type of woman would frequent this place.  Woman have long, thoughtful profiles, the effort put into theirs is much more noticeable.  Many even go so far overboard that they list activities that they know will appeal to men.  It is no secret that woman are a lot more fluid in their likes and dislikes, often times gaining so much from the push a man provides.  In my own case with skydiving, it is not a sport I would have ever given serious thought about, but here I am loving it taking every opportunity to get better at it.  But I needed that push, and woman play this game well.  Showing interest, trying new things and often liking them much more than they ever would have thought.  It just would be nice if men played back a little more often, but I suppose the men who do not already know that are not worth the pursuit or maybe just needed a little reminder.

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