Ever find yourself trying far too hard to perfectly orchestrate the most intimate or exciting sexual tryst? Well I have and it is exhausting and just never seems to go as planned. The most exciting adventures have been those that have been a little more last minute, a little more spontaneous than planned. I get wrapped up in the details and getting everything just right, and people just do not seem designed for that. I find that the most excitement comes from taking a step back and letting a certain amount of pieces fall where they may.
A perfect example is sex in the great outdoors. Quite frankly, living in Calgary, it is damn near impossible to plan ahead of time. The perfect opportunities for the people very often clash with what the weather decides to do. To this day, I have not once had an outdoor excursion go to plan if ever decided on more than an hour in advance… well except for that one time on the roof.
Then there is event or birthday sex. We all know the special events that come around every year, and I hazard a guess that very few of us can say that every year on our birthday the sex is more amazing then at any other time. Why? Because it is a planned event. There is so much going on, such as a big meal, social obligations and time constraints that sex usually has to fit in around. I have learned over the years to simply take sex as a highlight off the table, and to stop putting so much damn pressure on it. If something is going to happen that is noteworthy, it works better for me a few days away from the birthday or other event. It takes the pressure off and eases things. There are of course exceptions to this rule, but for the most part the planning of something sexy and special on a day that already has so much going on, tends to fail.
So try to keep it spontaneous, lower the expectations and planning. Keep it spicy with surprises and unique ideas every so often. And if things fall through, be sure to laugh about it and not hold a grudge. Sex is silly, and fun, nothing to get too uptight or worked up about.