Monday, 3 June 2013

Why Do Men Cheat? Our Evolution Ignored


The media and our social networking sites do a fantastic and thorough job of demonizing men.  Daily there are sites aimed at finding out if your man cheated, and 7 signs that he is going to cheat and other such fear driven articles.  What you do not find is the sites geared at women cheating or for that matter, just a partner.  We are presented a polarizing view from our society geared towards our most intimate relationships.  I have been told that I write in a normative voice, whereby I present my thoughts from a female to male dynamic.  And although I appreciate why that seems to be the case, it is only because I present my thoughts from my own experiences, those of a heterosexual nature.  But my attempt is rarely to generalize based on gender, instead, my goal has been to present a few ideas and question or challenge them.  And here I find myself surrounded by media that states, men cheat, and women should fear this happening.

This seems ludicrous to me.  Are men only out there fornicating with other men when they leave their marital bliss for some strange on the side?  I mean in a few of my fantasies that is certainly what I am hoping for.  But truthfully, it is people who are out there cheating with each other, and not just men.  This is something inherent in our very human survival, the desire to procreate, to continue life sometimes by any means necessary.  This issue is, we like to think of ourselves so far removed from our baser instincts.  It seems harsh to make a statement that woman are generally more obese than men because a females survival instinct is to eat as many calories as possible to sustain a new life.  Just as no one likes to read about men just spreading their seed as far as possible, due to the same base instinct.  We like to imagine we are so far above these primary goals that have made our survival possible.

Forgetting how we came into being, to thriving, to surviving and regenerating at previously unimaginable rates is unsexy.  So to control this, we polarize.  We demonize men, forgetting where we came from, and why that drive to procreate is there.  Throughout history, large voluptuous woman were the ideal.  Strong virile men likewise were demanded, sought out, and glorified.  It is funny how we forget that, and decide to pick and choose what portions of history we want to learn from.  People were designed to have sex and to eat.  Religion, worked its thorough and well documented “magic” in assisting humanity in forgetting who and what we really are.  A species that should be proud we evolved and have accomplished so much, and stop living in fear of why we have come so far.  Instead, begin to understand, and appreciate the rational.  It is only with understanding and education that we can stop hating what we fear.

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