With my 30th birthday being an inevitable reality, I have been looking into a little spice shall we say. Just putting out some sexy feelers and perhaps starting my 30’s with a very fun night or two. So far it is not going as smoothly as I had hoped, and with that said, I am running into some surprising roadblocks. As I wrote in my last piece, I am always surprised that people encourage others to sleep with strangers. I may be a little old fashioned in my thinking, but I prefer to get down and dirty with people I actually know, so there is accountability for safety, and feelings should they arise. Now I am not saying that I sleep with all or even any of my friends, but a little conversation prior to is a must for me.
Now here is the situation that had me almost rolling my eyes. A guy that I have chit chatted with for a couple of months has a fantasy. A fantasy very similar to the one linked here. Now this is something that although I find pretty hot under the correct circumstances is not exactly what I had in mind for my 30th. So I put out the feelers to see if the chick he is seeing would be interested in a foursome. The reply was that he liked her, and that he would not be willing to share someone he liked, and if I wanted he could try and find someone else. I have heard similar things said many times on the great big interweb, but never once have I actually encountered this in real life. I suppose that I convinced myself that there is no sex negativity in the people I choose to associate with. Or maybe that they would not be silly enough to admit these thoughts to me, knowing full well that I write this stuff down and share it!
The bottom line for me is that people who sleep together are not objects devoid of thoughts and feelings. To exclude a person because you care about them just fundamentally seems wrong to me. That is the very person that you should talk to about fantasies, about doing fun things together. If they are not into it, that is perfectly fine, but they should not be excluded. Does it not make more sense that your sex life be as exciting as possible with those you love and care about rather than reserved for strangers? Why should we give up certain fun times just to be in a committed relationship? I would much rather strive to have all good things, and not compromise, or allow myself to be compromised.