Wednesday, 15 January 2014

Relationship and Self Help Books

Save your relationships with these easy steps, divorce with dignity, should you stay or should you go, these are a few of the more common book themes aimed at assisting with relationships and sex problems facing our society today.  Make no mistake, it is a million dollar industry, and one that each and every one of us have subscribed to at some point in our dating life.  At what point though, do we stop and think about what we are subscribing to?  That perhaps there is a bigger issue at hand, one that a relationship rescue mission will not be able to save.  Why are we working against our human nature by looking for these quick fixes, and these bandaid type solutions?  Are any of us actually seeking the reason for our relationship issues?

In the same breath, why are we losing the ability to communicate with our fellow man at such an alarming rate?  Why have we become such pussies, afraid to say what we mean, and mean what we say.  Sarcasm is often an excuse to soften a real opinion.  Or the worse scenario, where we don't talk and instead just ignore a person completely to avoid any unwanted conflict.  A friend of mine has just gone through a situation whereby the guy stopped talking to her out of the blue.  There was no breakup text, no phone call, no email, just one day radio silence.  We both figured this was an isolated incident and chalked it up to the guy just being emotionally immature.  That was until it happened again with a new guy a few months later, things going great and then just like that, nothing.  And I have heard complaints of the same variety from guys in regards to women they are pursuing.  The lady seems happy, then just one day, stops returning texts or phone calls.  A very clear pattern is starting to form.  A pattern of emotionally fearful humans. 

Maybe it is because the current generation has never been on the receiving end of a slammed phone.  Has never experienced that shock at holding a dead phone in your hand, after that unmistakable angry click.  This new generation has never felt that sinking feeling in your tummy, then learned how to react without vengeance, followed by the realization that your world did not just end.  Or that sensation of having a door slammed in your face when you were a jerk to someone else, a well deserved punishment, we are too afraid to do to another human, lest they get offended.  We have lost that ability to interact face to face.  Instead we opt to text the person our feelings, even in the same room to lessen the emotional burden.  To ease embarrassment, and try and take the squeamish feeling away.  It is a scary thought, the notion that we are afraid of our own emotions and terrified of reactions from those around us.  We misinterpret emotions in text messages a hundred times a day.  Then we follow this up with a failure to respond ever again, no closure, just taking the easy way out. We end the artificial texting relationship without so much as a frowny face. 


So keep buying those relationship self help books.  They are written for a very good reason, we as a society need assistance in dealing with the world around us.  But please first, put down the phone, stop typing that well thought out e-mail, and stop tweeting that so and so is the biggest douche on the planet.  Have some real face time, learn again to read body language, watch facial cues, or maybe just hug it out.  Once you have mastered this basic element of human interaction, you might be better equipped to move on to a relationship with more that one human being at a time... just maybe.

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