Thursday, 19 June 2014

Safe Sex, Before and After

Whenever you are sexually active there are risks, I go into a little more detail here.  One added element to being in an open relationship is that there are more parties involved when it comes to said risks which can be both a good thing and a bad thing.  A few months ago, E and I invited someone to share an evening with us.  The three of us had the safe sex talk, and all disclosed our STI and STD status’, along with the dates that we were last tested.  It is an easy talk to have, especially knowing that once the talk is over the fun can really begin.  Our evening ended up being quite an adventure, and we concluded the night on great terms.  The side lament to the night was that his partner was not ready herself to be involved in a more open lifestyle, but the door is always open to them.


Now fast forward to the new year and an email I received while out and about with E.  The gist of the email was that his wife was having some feminine issues, mixed with the help of the most trusted medical expert Google, could be connected to an STI.  My initial reaction was extreme annoyance that I was being asked if perhaps there was something that was not disclosed during our safe sex talk.  There are risks of course in being sexually active, and of course it is natural to assume that sometimes people lie.  And sometimes, people just flat out do not know that they have anything that could be shared between partners.  Again I was momentarily miffed. 

Once I talked the email over with E though, I came to realize that I was put off by his partner using the internet to self diagnose and not that he was confirming any changes to my sexual health.  In fact, I was reassured that we had met someone who was upfront and willing to ask the tough questions. He made the right call in emailing and I know that the email must have been incredibly difficult to write, especially with his partners health in question.  Safety in my books, should come before pleasure, and is incredibly difficult to rectify if it is only an after thought.  And as I found out, is a lot easier to deal with knowing that you did everything you could in the first place, conversation and prevention. 

I have learned a few surprising things during this experience, while also reinforcing what I already knew about E.  I am so grateful to have the partner that I do, one with whom I can openly discuss the tough stuff, and will remain objective even during the hard times.  And while E and I know we are both incredibly selfish and cautious with our bodies, a stranger does not.  Even with safe sex awareness and prevention there are always risks.  There is no such thing as 100 percent safe sex, and we are prepared to have the conversations when the need arises.  With that being said, the minor risks or occasional uncomfortable email would not ever be a reason to avoid a healthy sexual appetite.  

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