If this were a marriage it would be headed for divorce or counseling. But being a friendship, it seems different. It seems to want to fall into the category of unconditional love. And yet, if nothing is being gained and in fact is starting to play a detriment to one’s life, then why keep it? Just because it is comfortable, does not mean it is a good thing. A comfortable career is boring, the same holds true with a marriage, and with trying to bring symmetry to my personalities the same must hold true for friendships.
I have grown lazy in my friendships. Pretending that they did not need work, and that I was comfortable having people in my life who remind me of who I used to be. I want more. I want friends who want to hang out with the person who is working to master all three faces of herself. Who want to laugh, drink, do silly things, and not accept any mediocrity. This is who I am at work, with my colleagues and customers. I challenge all my staff, along side myself to push through, think outside the box, and better themselves. I am good at cheerleading when it comes to work. I have been lousy when it comes to friendships. And I think the common denominator is my lack of assertiveness. I am not assertive with my friends. I have wanted simplicity and a nice glass of wine. Playing nice has left me with nice friends. I want better, and I want to be a better friend. I have broken all rose coloured glasses with my family, and colleagues, and now it is time to do the same with my friendships. One amazing person for all aspects of my life.