Saturday, 25 June 2016

Addressing the Sexless Marriage is Inevitable Myth

I was going through my blog comment section this morning and realized that I had missed responding to someone from 2012.  It was on a post entitled Sexual Compatibility: An Open Letter.  So aside from feeling terrible for ignoring someone who took the time to comment, I also felt bad because of the myth that he was taking solace in.  The myth is that for marriage to last for ever, you should be with your best friend, because in the end, when the sex life has fizzled out, you will still have your soul mate. Basically, put more stock in a companion than a sexual equal.  I hate this myth.

Why put limits on your relationship?  Why perpetuate the idea that one must settle in order to live happily ever after (which I also do not agree with).  Life is whatever you make of it.  Relationships can be whatever you want them to be.  A lifetime together means just that, a lifetime making each other happy.  And for a lot of people, myself included, sex enriches my life and relationship.  Penn and Teller, did a Bullshit episode on Old People, which looked at all the myths that happen when people get old.  Sex drive dying was definitely a myth according to many who were interviewed.  In fact, how many times have you heard of near polyamory in old folks homes?  Human nature is to experience everything you possibly can when you know the end is near.  And sex is high on that list.

In my own family, I was horrified to find out that some elderly seniors thought it was funny to pick up the phone to invite the other into the shower with them... while I was on the line!  I won't put in writing who it was, but I can tell you that sex is very much still a part of that 50 plus year marriage.  And it is only uncomfortable because they are family.  Reading that from anyone else, I would probably say that is so sweet, but please don't tell me anymore.

Find someone who is your equal, who always has your back and you theirs.  Find a partner.  But don't limit yourself to myths.  Don't think that sex has to dry up.  Don't place more value on companionship if that is not what's important to you.  Make your own long term goals with your partners and live everyday in love and happiness.  Do not allow limits to control you!  Or myths that keep a person down on some potentially miserable level. Sexless marriage is not inevitable unless you want it to be.

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