Saturday, 10 December 2016

Pre Christmas “Single Shopping”

I heard a statistic the other day, that 2 weeks before Christmas is the time when most breakups occur.  This makes a whole lot of sense.  Consider that you have been a little unhappy for a while, and now have to make the decision to buy someone you are not sure you like anymore a present.  Or what’s worse? You have to spend the already stressful holiday times with your crazy family, and dread including that person that now has the most irritating laugh EVER!  (Or some equally annoying trait that you no longer want to be in the same room with). Well, better to just end things quietly before it gets too close to the holidays and when you still have time to do some pre-Christmas “single shopping”.


And what is pre Christmas Single Shopping you might ask?  Well, quite simply, it is the time for vetting out the person who will be good enough in a pinch.  It is the person who looks good in pictures, or just good on paper, whatever you may need at bare minimum.  The guy or gall who dresses up nicely and can make polite conversation at a company Christmas party.  It is the individual who has been friendzoned forever, so will be extra excited at the opportunity to be seen out in public with you.  Or maybe, it’s that friendly face on the dating site who messaged you and you didn’t instantly cringe, so now that you’re a little desperate and lonely, well… it is the season of giving right?

It is almost like the speed date.  You have two weeks or less before Christmas to make a decision to bring around you maybe partner, or spend the holidays alone.  Online dating messages around this time are nice, polite, and just all around easy to read.  Or maybe the writers have just all had their rum and egg nog so their barriers are lowered when they scroll through the multitude of pictures.  I cannot say for sure, but there is a tone difference in messages.


So if this is a decision you recently had to make, enjoy your newly single shopping.  Be nice to your friendzoned maybe partner.  Be courteous to the new person who is as lonely as you and will scratch your back at your family’s gathering if you scratch theirs.  Remember the campsite rule!  And who knows, maybe this defences down chance you’re taking could be the best thing you ever did, and there are many more happy Christmas’ together in your future.

4 comments:

  1. Yes, it would be very nice to have someone nice you can really enjoy being together with - you can have a lot of fun going out to the movies, a coffee at the bookstore, and even intimacy.

    For me though, I don't make it such a priority; if I'm alone, I know how to enjoy myself while I can.

    And I think the idea of 'Christmas singles shopping' reeks of insecurity, where -- you see another couple pass you by, they're smiling while you're alone, by your lonesome self.

    "I wish I had someone too.." the thought passes through your head, as you sigh to yourself.

    And if you are hooked up with someone with that same insecure need, you are mainly bonded out of sharing that same insecurity, while probably there is not much else in common you can connect with. Or if there is, then you're relying on luck that the guy is really nice for you, outside of feeling lonely in holidays.

    The way I see it, if you can feel comfortable with yourself such that you don't mind being alone on holidays, that confidence -- people know, they can sense it from you, and you can find someone nice to be with on your own terms.

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    1. Oh, and if you're wondering who I am -- I don't know if you remember well that far, but I worked with you in English literature class, around Spring 2011.

      We were doing stuff on dystopian books like A Clockwork Orange, Never Let Me Go - and when we had to present on the shared themes these books had, we did a play, where the characters met in a library or something.

      I wrote the lines, you performed it as Kathy beside another guy (he was Sikh).

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    2. Nice to hear from you! It has been a while. The idea of confidence is of course of the utmost importance when finding yourself, and therefore becoming attractive to someone else if that is your goal. Although it may reek of insecurity to be single shopping right before Christmas, it is absolutely a real thing that is occurring right now whatever the reasons. And of course... sometimes two wrongs can make a right, or is that three turns?

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    3. Currently, my goal is just to make it through my week of finals, and after that, catch up on living and enjoying myself before I get really busy next year.

      I'm not too keen about the dating scene here, so I wouldn't know about the many lonely singles who are vying to have someone in their arms over the holidays.

      The thing is, it feels like your real goal is to find that someone who, you can trust opening yourself up nakedly and intimately with - maybe in the wild and sensual throes of sex, or other fun stuff like skiing.

      And while I understand dating and being attractive to others is one way of getting there, it's also helpful to be on the lookout too - you can always find an unexpected opportunity with someone you already know, or even a stranger on the street you've helped.

      Hopefully you have that chance =)

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